davabindu दवबिंदू

विचार, आठवणी, अनुभव, भावना, हितगुज , मतं….आणि बरंच काही! eveything that life is about….

Parenting: (Part-3): The ‘Let Go’ Attitude

The ‘Let Go’ Attitude

Motherhood is a blessing. It is said that, being a mother is learning about strengths you didn’t know you had. Motherhood teaches us something very important, which I would put in a single word – “control”. In my opinion, a good mother is the one who is able to control and deal effectively with all her emotions especially when she is with her child. When the child is stubborn and not listening and the mom is getting frustrated due to it, in order to handle the situation effectively, the mother should be able to control her frustration/ anger at the right time and after a certain limit and look for the other ways to get the desired action done from the child. The ‘Let Go’ attitude elaborated below, often helps to control the negative emotions and feelings.

While we are trying to teach the good habits and discipline to our children, It is important that we should also instill the ‘let go’ attitude amongst ourselves and use it whenever required. Children this age (Age group 2-5) do not understand the benefits of doing or not doing certain things. They just want to do it because they like it and vice versa. Their understanding of the things is limited to the thought “I like to do this. I enjoy it. So I want to do it.” So they do not listen most of the times when we stop them from doing their favorite activity. They become stubborn and difficult to handle. It also happens with the things they do not like to do. They are not ready to do certain good things, because they are not interested in doing those things.

But we all know and are sure that, things change after some time goes, when they grow up, when they start going to school, when their world of knowledge, experiences and understanding expands. This stubbornness is mainly because of their low level of understanding and high level of self-centeredness which are going to reduce gradually over the period of time. This is just a temporary phase. They are the most difficult when it comes to sharing their stuff with others, eating certain food they don’t like, making mess everywhere at home, writing / drawing on walls, etc. So, while handling such stubbornness, sometimes we should just let it go. Do not force your opinions, good habits and discipline on the kids because they really do not understand the benefits of it. This way we are losing most of our energy, temper and patience achieving nothing at the end of the day. This does not mean that we should stop telling them about it. We should tell them regularly about it either directly or it should be implied from our behavior. Sometimes we also have to find some other ways to make the child do what we want them to do instead of wasting our time and energy in shouting at them.

Gandhar is very difficult to handle when it comes to making him drink and finish his glass of milk. He is very stubborn and never cooperates while drinking milk. We tried all methods, adding chocolate flavor, sugar, warm milk, cold milk , everything possible for us. We actually used to spend almost 1 hr every morning and at the end of it the glass used to be only half-empty. This had become our headache. We started shouting at him everyday, he used to cry, scream and waste some more time and used to be late for his daycare almost everyday. Moreover, I used to feel sad and depressed for the entire day. Today, Gandhar has not improved at all when it comes to drinking milk in the morning. But we are just letting it go. We are instead trying the other method which is comparatively less time consuming. We ask him to finish only half glass in the morning. He still takes a lot of time in finishing that half glass but he is slightly relieved that he doesn’t have to finish the whole glass and we are also little relieved because this is saving our precious time from busy mornings. We give him the rest half of the glass of milk in the evening. He knows that he can only go to the play area if he finishes up that half glass. So it is slightly better situation for us in the evening. Sometimes, when I don’t get time to give him milk in the evening, I knead some atta using that half glass of milk and he eats those rotis in the dinner. My purpose is served, I am free from all the negative feelings and my kiddo is also happy because he does not have to drink lots of milk at the same time. Thanks to my mom for suggesting me about this and also telling me about this let go attitude.

So, the moral is, sometimes Just let it go, do not expect from the kids to do things in the manner you want but instead, think about the alternate ways you can use to make them do it. The most important thing is, be assured that this is going to change and one day your little one is going to understand the things better.

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This entry was posted on October 13, 2015 by in Experiences and tagged .
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