davabindu दवबिंदू

विचार, आठवणी, अनुभव, भावना, हितगुज , मतं….आणि बरंच काही! eveything that life is about….

Parenting: (Part 4): Getting Involved in Each Other’s Activity/ Work

Getting Involved in Each Other’s Activity/ work

“Aai, you want a ved (red) bus or a yevvo (yellow) bus?”

“What?”

I was busy writing some e-mails and so, it was obviously the ‘perfect’ time for my little monster to come and interrupt.

“I like yevvo (yellow). Do you want to take the ved (red) bus, aai?”

“Gandhar, please. Aai is busy. We will play after some time , ok?”

He stood in front of the laptop and kept on moving the toys in front of my eyes.

“ok, you sit here and read out the letters I am typing. If you get all of them correct, I will play with you.”

In my opinion, I was handling the situation quite well thinking that he would sit near me and while he reads the letters, I will finish writing the e-mails.

“no, you take the ved(red) bus and if you drive very fast, I will read letters, otey?”

I was amazed by his smart answer. “Is he really only 3 years?”

I decided to give up and pretended to fall for his offer.

“Ok, I will drive very fast, faster than you and then you read the letters, ok?”

I could see the happiness filled in his eyes.

“but I don’t like red. I like blue. Do you have blue bus?”

“hmm…no, I have a blue car. You take blue car, otey aai?”

“no, not car, can you give me blue engine then?”

Both of us got quite involved in this conversation, and after some time, I realized that I was talking with him as if I was really interested in his blue engine and red bus. He seemed very happy because it felt as if he was playing with his friend and not his mom. I decided to try something.

“Ok, I am done driving the car. I am so tired. Now I want to color the book that we purchased last week from the store. I will park my car for some time, do coloring and then drive again.”

Do you want to join me?”

I saw little hesitation on his face. I knew he wanted me to keep playing with the car. I could read his face. “who knows, if I say no and aai goes back to her work again? I will be left all alone to play”

“Otey. I want to do coloring too.”

For next 20 minutes, both mom and the son were busy discussing about different colors and coloring the book.

That day, I learnt something very important. “Involvement”.

It is said that you should become a kid while playing with your kid. It is so correct. Kids want our time and attention. The attention span of the young kids is very short. As a result, they are unable to sit at one place for more time and complete certain things that need little amount of concentration to complete. However, if we get involved and be their play-mates, they often can continue with the same activity for more period of time. E.g. If we want them to complete some puzzle that involves putting together the pieces and making different animals out of it, young age kids start with enthusiasm but after only 5 minutes they might start losing interest in it. It might be because they are too young to know about the animals and their body parts. It also might be because they start feeling bored as nobody is around to challenge them and appreciate them when they complete it one by one. If we get involved in this, not as the parents, but as their play-mate and friend, someone who is not having any extra capabilities like parents but is at the same level like them, kids are happy to sit and play the same puzzle with them for more time without getting bored. Our role in this can be of their competitor (like who completes first types) or the guide (Come I will show you one and you work on the other in the same manner) or it can be just like two friends playing together (pretending that you are not able to do better and faster than your kid, works best). When you get involved, kids definitely tend to sit for more time and try to complete the activity they are working on. This is the best way to enjoy your time with them, know about your kid’s weak and strong areas and make them start learning new things at their own pace and comfort.

Similar to this, if we get our kids involved in our day to day and routine tasks, it often helps save our energy and patience which we otherwise would waste running behind them. The most important advantage of this is, kids learn about the basic and simple jobs and routine chores. It is very correctly said about the kids, ” tell me and I forget, teach me and I understand, involve me and I learn.” For example, While taking the washed and dried utensils out from the dishwasher, we can show them how to sort the spoons, dishes, bowls etc and where to keep them and we can ask them if they can do it for us. Kids feel very happy and proud to take part in their parent’s jobs as it gives them a feeling of being a grown-up. Before going out for grocery shopping, we can just read the grocery list to them and ask them to remember it. They feel proud to see their mom being dependent on them to tell which items are on the list and which are not. We can’t expect them to remember it correctly and we can always carry a written list with us, but this way they learn about what grocery items are required in house every week and they can be less bothersome during the entire shopping. We can also ask them to name the vegetables and fruits pretending that we have forgotten the same, during this exercise.

So, the key is, get involved in each other’s jobs. Sometimes, set yourself free to become a kid but sometimes, let your kiddo be a grown-up. This will surely help you simplify your everyday issues and also strengthen the bond of love you share with your little one.

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This entry was posted on October 13, 2015 by in Experiences and tagged .
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